Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
