so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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