YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
