Tell her she can't have a vagina
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
