yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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