Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
