Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
