I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
