I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
