You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
