Buhtt sex?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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