Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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