i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
