So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My penis needs a shock collar
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
