hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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