I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
