I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
