Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Ketchup is God's man juice
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
