I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
