he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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