This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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