How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
