i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
