Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i think i just lost a toe
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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