No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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