omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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