Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I am naked and annoyed.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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