I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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