she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
