He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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