STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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