i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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