Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
where are my eyebrows?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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