Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
