Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
