writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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