She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
