Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
