elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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