2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
This is my gift to your gina
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
