i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
