My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize