id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
