I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
