I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
