bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
