God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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