Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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