Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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