I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
