the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
