He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
