First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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