whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
