why didn't you poke me back
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
