He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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