If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
