the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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