omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
