Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
