I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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