Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
