let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
