I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
