they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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