I can tuck mytits in my pants
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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