Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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